The Doctors Said I Would Not Live and If I Did, I Would Not Walk

I was an emotional wreck. I skipped school. I made so many bad choices. People hurt me. I hurt others with decisions I made too. I started working in a night club. I would work, drink, and shop to try to feel better. I was so angry, I thought, “Someone is going to die.” The paramedics cut me out of the car. I fell into a coma. I grew up attending church as a child. I asked for forgiveness of my sins. I asked Jesus to come into my heart. My Mommy, aunt, and Sunday School teacher told me about Jesus Christ. I really believed that Jesus loved me. I loved Him too. I joined the choir and loved to sing about Him. My favorite song was "Jesus loves me.” My parents had different ideas and beliefs about Christianity and life. Each one wanted me to live a good life. I remember when I was in elementary school, some children would tease me because I wore dresses most of the time and ribbons in my hair. I even had fights. Also, they would say mean things about Mommy. I felt bad because Mommy wanted me to respond one way and Daddy another. Mommy taught me to try and talk things out to avoid fights. She told me to tell the teacher. Daddy taught me to fight. I started responding the way Mommy advised, but their teasing did not stop. I began to tease children and fight back. I felt better but knew that wasn't right, and that's not what I really wanted to do. I loved children and animals. How I dealt with inner conflict was easier with wise counsel from Mommy and her encouragement. I talked to God about it as a little girl and young person. I didn't always obey, but I tried. I asked God to forgive me

and to help me and others too. I made friends and enjoyed spending time with them. I enjoyed being alone, listening to all types of music and dancing. Honestly, the time I loved most was time with God. I could talk to God about anything and feel better. I felt free.

As the years went on, Mommy suffered a stroke and a year later she passed away. I was a freshman in high school. I began to pretend I was happy and said I was fine. Mommy had always told me to pray and be strong. I tried, but after a while I stopped. I felt like I had no one to talk to me and encourage me now. Thoughts continued to come to my mind... be a good girl, Jesus loves you, love the Lord, you are going to be a teacher, and you are going to be a nurse. Instead, I developed associations with people Mommy had warned me about. I justified my own actions. I locked myself in my own little world. After a while, I was an emotional wreck, but I knew I had to be strong.

In my earlier years, my grades were good. I stopped trying to make good grades in high school. I skipped school and completed just enough work to make sure I graduated. I made so many bad choices. However, I worked part-time, graduated high school, and started college. I gave birth to my son during my freshman year of college. I left college, got married, and we had a son. Things didn't work out, so we divorced. I did not trust God nor people. People hurt me, but I hurt others with decisions I made too.

Years later, I was laid off from my job. The unemployment benefits were not enough to keep up with the lifestyle I had chosen. I started working in a night club. The plan was that it would be temporary. I started a new day job but continued to work nights in the club. Partying was fun for a while, but I wanted out. I was working on it, but I needed help. I would work, drink, and shop to try to feel better. It worked for a while but stopped. One night after work, I walked to my car, got in, closed the door and bang – someone ran into the back of my car. I jumped out, walked to the back of my car, looked at the damage, turned, and there were two men. One hit me in the left eye so hard I felt blood streaming down my face. Meanwhile, the other man ran to my car to the driver side door and tried to get in, but it was locked. They jumped in their car and drove off. I was so angry. I thought, "Someone is going to die." I unlocked the door, jumped in

my car, and caught up to them. The driver looked over and rammed into the side of my car. Then I rammed into their car, as we continued speeding down the street. The next thing I remember, my car struck a utility box, flew into the air, and landed upside down. The paramedics cut me out of the car. We made it to the hospital. The pain was so great, I fell into a coma. When I awakened, surgery had been performed on my pelvis, arms, knee, and left cheek bone. The doctors said I would not live and if I did, I would not walk. I was so angry. I felt so bad and ashamed. After several weeks, I finally made it home. I was carried into the house. I was determined to walk again. Weeks passed, and I began to walk again without rehabilitation.

After everything I experienced, I returned to work at the club. I still had a cast on each arm. I wanted revenge. A few weeks later, as I sat in the dark club, I heard on the inside, “You don't belong here.” I believe this was from God.

I said softly, “I know... I know, but I don't know where to begin.”

I heard, “Just start.” Tears ran down my face. One thing was for sure; I knew I had to keep thinking about that experience. I felt more confident that Jesus loved me, so I prayed more than ever. One week later, I quit that job and never returned. I poured out my heart to Jesus and asked Him to forgive me and fill me with the Holy Spirit.

Today, I give all Glory to the Lord for salvation and restoration. I have been set free! Oh, what peace I have on the inside. I am forgiven, saved. I am filled with the Holy Spirit. I now witness to others about the love of Jesus. I spend time praying and praising, even more than I did as a child. I am now able to enjoy my new life with my husband, children, and family. I have been set free! My prayer is that all people will turn to Jesus. He loves us all and wants us to spend eternity with Him. Only He can make it happen!